Tuesday October 12th I had an epiphany after I attended a Lunch and Learn presented by Robby Slaughter (sponsored by @SimonsBitzer ). Robby’s topic was how to say no. I’ve struggled with my ability to say no for the last two years. Not in the same way Ado Annie from the musical “Oklahoma” has a hard time saying no, but whenever I’m in the presence of any potential client I have a hard time saying no to giving free Social Media consultations.
The catalyst for my epiphany occurred while discussing the Tennessee firemen’s big NO to putting out a fire (see link below) during Robby’s seminar on saying NO. When I arrived home, I was lucky enough to catch my business coach online and we had the following dialog.
Dialog with my business coach
Amy Stark: Robby’s topic was how to say NO… which I thought be helpful since I am incapable on some level to charge to share my knowledge. I brought up the fireman story…[and] EVERYONE in the room — roughly 20 — thought the firemen were acting unethically and should have just put out the fire. Even though the resident did not pay the fee.
Coach: My view too =)
Amy Stark: how are they different from me?
Coach: They are firemen – which to me a is a public service (it is that over here in Sweden).
Amy Stark: I see a fire — Indiana businesses (and especially nonprofits) not picking up the social media clue phone. When the Asian markets open up and there is true global commerce companies that GET social media will do better than those that don’t. … I want there to be a LOT of sustainable businesses around here so my teenage daughter will have a place to work, close by.
Coach: You see a fire but is it your role to put out that fire?
Amy Stark: I feel like I’m one of only a few here locally that even sees the fire burning. It HAS Been my goal… my mission… to put out the fire.
Coach: I like the word HAS
Amy Stark: I need to figure a way around this. Not easy, is it?
Coach: Are you a fire alarm or the fire brigade? That makes a huge difference.
Amy Stark: the brigade behind me are making money. I’m the alarm and they don’t make [expletive deleted] except noise.
Coach: You might be the alarm, but you try to be the fire brigade and put out the fire (brain dumps anyone…).
Amy Stark: But EVERYone in the room felt the firemen should have put out the fire.
Coach: So do I, see my previous answer. Sell them some fire protection too (for more than $75 a year though)
Amy Stark: It really clarified my perceived role. I think of myself as the siren. I need to change that somehow so that I can remain true to my ethics and pay my bills AND become independently wealthy so I can spread my knowledge far and wide – just like manure.
Coach: LOL
Amy Stark: a farmer’s term
Coach: I would say that I spread the light, not that I spread manure.
Amy Stark: Spread manure is funnier, though.
Coach: Manure makes things grow – what do you want to grow?
Amy Stark: [Indiana’s exposure via Internet protocol]
Coach: Plant a seed and spread manure…
Amy Stark: It’s all I’ve been talking about since January 2009. Indiana needs to think globally if we are to compete… since we are such a fabulous state, I like to show it off. =) Plant a seed and spread manure.
Coach: It’s not your mission to show off Indiana, no matter how fabulous it is. You wrote “we need to think globally if we are to compete” and that makes sense. Still, you can not do that on your own and for free.
Amy Stark: You’re right, I agree 100%.
Coach: Your epiphany is seeing the light. From there on it’s about selecting which way to go. Giving all away for free is not sustainable so it’s about finding another way.
Amy Stark: I’m a tough case, aren’t I?
Coach: Your heart is too big, it covers all of Indiana =) In a way you’re a soft case – you care and want to help.
Amy Stark: So how can I make money just naturally being who I am? Because I’m better at that than anyone I ever met.
Coach: It’s like the fire brigade in that article, you help the ones who pay. No one can save everyone.
Coach: You can create your own 80/20 rule. 80% of your work week is paid customers, 20% is putting out fires for free. But don’t mix them since they are very different.
Amy Stark: yes sir
Coach: I think in the fireman case it’s about moral, they are supposed to put out fires. In another example people would accept that work is not done for free.
Amy Stark: … I’m going to a Set your own price model and whatever you pay – I will give you that value in return.
Coach: A “set your own price model” will not work, you’re too kind and will give full value for pennies. You can deliver and shall set a market price for that.
Amy Stark: Epiphanies don’t happen every day. Maybe they should.
Coach: They can happen often, awareness has magic.
End of dialog.
Additonal reading.
My business coach is Bengt Wendel at Key Coaching.
He sent me a related article from Copyblogger: The Simple Tricks Experts Use to Always Get Paid For Their Time.
The firemen article I refer to is South Fulton Tennessee Fire Department Refuses to Put Out House Fire.
